Eclectic Crap

3 things I learned peeing in a bus bathroom

written in Auckland, NZ early 2016

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask for Help

There was an unexplained “HELP” button beside the toilet that I think was safe to assume, if pressed, alerted everyone onboard that you needed moral support in your pooping journey. Other possible results of pressing this button include toilet paper falling from the ceiling, a 911 distress call, or maybe it’s just an acronym for something terrifying that doesn’t make sense like “Hell’s eternal luminescent pit”


      2. But also understand that you cannot escape

Crafted a little above head height, a slit-like window in the bathroom was usefully placed so that one could gaze upon the freeway as one took care of bladder related business. The issue here is that I had to stand up really high in order to stare out this hauntingly prison-esque window and as a result I almost fell into the toilet. And in that moment I was reminded that DEATH IS INEVITABLE AND POOP IS ALL AROUND US.


3. Be confident with your body

Throughout my experience, I was overwhelmed with the possibility that at any given moment, the door could swing open and I would be forced to stare my classmates in the eye while I peed. The door’s lock was a mystery and for all I knew, my friends and I were about to bond in a way nobody asked for.


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